The new school year is knocking at my door. I’ve never entered a year with my mind in SO many different places. I’ve already had a few months of experience as a working mom, but now it seems very different…both from the school aspect and the mommy aspect. Right now all of my thinking tends to lean towards worries and anxieties. So – this may be a downer of a post, but I am sure there are other people in my shoes – or others who HAVE been in my shoes.
Let’s break it down.
Ethan and Madeline.
- Daycare seems to be going well. Great. I am happy their are so adaptable. Are they getting enough nurturing? I know the ratio is 1 adult to 4 children – but come on. If I had quadruplets, I would never feel like I am giving each child enough attention.
- Will they ever nap there? Naps have been hit or miss. They are sleeping. GREAT. But not very long. Hopefully in time nap lengths will increase. The positive – night sleep as been incredible so far.
- Once everything gets going, I won’t see M and E until 4:30. I leave for work between 6 and 6:15. They don’t get up until 6:30/7:00. How on earth? That’s going to be rough. Justin is going to facetime me, but still. It is NOT the same. Not even close.
- Are E and M going to create a stronger bond with their teachers than with me? They spend so much time there. Yes, I know I will always be there momma and it is different, but its scary.
- How often are they going to get sick. Ugh. Germs. Hoping this will help them to build strong immune systems, but no one likes a sick baby.
- So little time so much to do. Story of my life.
- Common Core. I loathe you.
- Teaching for an entire school year? I haven’t done that since 2012. That seems hard. Really hard. On the plus side, I won’t have used all of my sick days for half-day pregnancy related issues. That will be nice.
- Planning. Correcting. All that jazz. Need to time manage better at school and socialize less during my free period.
- Way to many new curriculum aspects. Try as I may – I think it is going to be rough getting familiar with all of our new programs. Practice makes perfect. Right?
- Mild winter. Please. No snow days. I want to get out as early in possible in June.
- I really hope I have a smart board or enos board. That would make life so much easier.
- Guilt. Guilt over not enough time for my children. Not enough time for my students. My husband. My dog. There is just not enough time for everyone. How am I going to prioritize?!
- I NEED to know what the routine will be. How long will it take me to get E and M packed? Thank goodness Justin is doing all the bottle washing.
- Speaking of washing..Thursday was laundry day over the summer. And when we had a nanny. WHen will the clothes get washed? Another thing to add to the weekend list.
- Working out. So important. When? Well, I joined a 9.99/mo gym next to daycare. A few days a week, I plan on grabbing a quick workout before I pick up M and E. But that is wrong..right? I should be picking up my kids ASAP. Not working out instead. Insert more guilt.
I know my children are young and may not even remember this. But I go back and forth about being a working mom so much. I’ve commited to my job and I will do everything I can to make sure my students learn. But will my children resent me for sending them off to someone else? Or admire me for working. It is such a crazy thought process. I’m not sure if I will ever know what the best answer is. Work. Not work.
But, I am working. I will miss them dearly each and every day. I will hug them tight the moment I see them and smother them with kisses from head to toe. I will cherish every moment we spend together and have quality time together. I will celebrate their successes – even if I don’t witness them first hand. Every day, this will get easier.
One day at a time.
One hour at a time.
One moment at a time.